SPARKY'S SAFETY CORNER
Hi kids! Sparky here. Boom-Fun! products are FUN — but only when you follow the Four Rules. Read carefully. Pledge sincerely.
Hi kids! Sparky here. My job is to keep America's young demolitionists safe, happy, and well-equipped. I personally inspect every Boom-Fun! product before it leaves our Toledo facility, and I've never missed a day of work in my entire career.
Boom-Fun! products are FUN — but they're only FUN when you follow The Four Rules. Read them. Memorize them. Say them aloud in front of a mirror. Pledge to follow them every time. A young American who follows The Four Rules will have a lifetime of happy Boom-Fun! memories ahead of him.
The Four Rules
Don't Squeeze the Blasting Cap.
The blasting cap does not like to be squeezed. Hold it gently, between thumb and forefinger, and carry it as you would carry a small, nervous beetle. A squeezed blasting cap is an unhappy blasting cap, and an unhappy blasting cap can affect your day meaningfully.
Light the Fuse From the Long End.
The long end is the end far from the thing that goes kaboom. The other end is the end near the thing that goes kaboom. These are not the same end. Sparky has made a diagram. The diagram is included in every Boom-Fun! product. Please refer to it.
Count Your Fingers Before AND After.
Eight fingers and two thumbs is the standard American configuration. Any variation after using a Boom-Fun! product should be investigated by a qualified adult. Some adults count faster than others. Any adult will do.
Ask an Adult First.
Adults have more experience with the physical world and can offer guidance. Any adult will do. The mailman is an adult. Your teacher is an adult. The gentleman at the hardware store is an adult. When in doubt, ask the gentleman at the hardware store. He has seen things.
Every Boom-Fun! product is inspected, tested, and personally approved by Sparky himself. If your product does not bear the Sparky Approval Stamp, write to us at once. We will send a new one, properly stamped, on the next outbound truck.